Vixen Diaries by Karrine Steffans

I got around to reading the Vixen Diaries recently, years after Confessions of a Video Vixen. I realize that I’m late on this book but after watching Empire, I’ve been on music industry tell-all book binge and Vixen Diaries made the cut. I find it funny that Karrine mentions Pamela Des Barres’ book in her first chapter because I could not even finish the heinous thing and wow is it horrible. Karrine’s book has a way of pulling you in while Pamela’s bored me to death. Sure Pamela has great descriptive writing and uses wonderful vocabulary but in an attempt to gloss over the so called “salacious” details of her story she really bores the crap out of you with all the purple prose.
Karrine’s description of Hollywood is perfect and matches that of another great read, Bobbi Brown’s book. I love how she points out that even though it may seem slow paced and quiet, it can still suck you in. She is honest and warns other girls. I like the feel that the book is trying to teach us something already, have young girls learn from her mistakes and watch out for themselves should they choose to take that path rather than feed them illusions and brag about herself.

My only issue with her descriptions of the downside of Hollywood is that she comes back to it often in the book. As an east coaster I’ve never been mystified by Hollywood myself, so I’ve never felt like the threat of being lured in that she talks about. So it makes me wonder, if she really wants to keep to herself, doesn’t trust anyone, and dislikes the scene over there then why does she remain there?

The topic of jealousy arises through the book. Yes it’s real but Karrine seems to think it is exclusive to fame. I’m sure its magnified when fame is involved but I think in every industry, in every social circle, even in families you feel the sting of jealousy. One thing I found surprising, is when she describes the social hierarchy in a popular club on the Sunset strip. She divides people from least famous to most famous and then calls regular non-famous people “wall flowers” who are jealous of her and other celebrities. Unless this is an exclusive LA thing that I have no experience with I really think she is in a bubble here. Everyone doesn’t care care about celebrities nor are they aspiring to be one. If they are fans they might stare for a bit, some might want to talk to them and then some may even find them obnoxious! And jealous stares? Well yes, anytime someone is rich or beautiful they may encounter jealous stares, famous or not. Sometimes men can’t even see an average guy with a gorgeous girl without immediately measuring him up and whispering about what it is he might do. I think there is a level of delusion here with famous people.

On her relationships with men:
One thing that irritated me from her last book is how flattering she is in her descriptions of most of the leading men. There is a lot of love between her and the men in her life, that is clear but she never seems to just grow tired of their instability enough to say, “I’m done. Biggest mistake of my life. Never looking back.” Another thing that bothers me is how aggressive they seem to be. For example, in this book the nameless Baby Boy just grabs her in her bathroom during a tour of the house and immediately begins to undress without having been given any signals that I can interpret. I get that this is supposed to be somewhat of a scene from a romance novel but…I would be turned off by this approach. It reminds me of her encounters with Jay Z and Vin Diesel in the first book.
I also seriously began to wonder about Baby Boy’s age. I thought he might have been a few years younger until she said his family would lock him up and throw away the key if they knew about her. How old could he be that grounding him was an option?
Her relationship with her ex-boyfriend turned best friend Bill Maher did make me happy. It makes me think more highly of him that he remained her best friend despite their ups and downs in the relationship and hopeful that if someone as open and honest as she is was able to find acceptance in a man then maybe we all can. I appreciate when ex-lovers are able to a maintain platonic relationships. It’s hard to find that with the sensitive male ego!

The relationship she described with the boxer Antonio, how she went out but always made sure to be home in time when he got there reminded me of something Bobbi Brown said in her book. She said it never occurred to her it wasn’t a good idea to give a guy her all. It sounds wrong because you shouldn’t play games in love, but it seems you lose a part of yourself if you give everything.

At the conclusion of the book, I guess I still find her to be surprisingly naive despite everything she’s been through. While I value her honesty I find it surprising that she can describe how openly she feels about these men while also describing her romantic and sexual relationships with others. It seems to me that when men know so much about your relationships with other males, they value any confessions of your feelings less. I mean she’s talking about how in love she was with Bill and how much she still wanted to be with Papa. Did Bill want to know this? Did he still value her friendship after hearing about this? I hope so and like I said, the fact that he remains her best friend makes me happy. Lastly I never expected Papa to be Method Mad. From the descriptions, I was sure he was LL Cool J. Maybe I was shipping.

One of my favorite quotes in the book:
“The inevitable truth about life, especially life in our 20s is that we are bound to change and change again.” – So true and comforting.

A career minded woman finds romance and scandal in the music industry